After a long hiatus, it's a nice feeling to just come back and write. Writing proves to be stress relieving at times. It still has yet to prove itself to me yet though. Maybe one day, i will do some soul searching to find out why i still bother to keep this blog alive. Despite popular beliefs that i set this up for self glory, i cannot dispute that more as to why that is a fallacy. If revealing my retarded actions and unbelievable dumb acts counts for glory then i must say i am basking in full glory to the likes of pak lah and my neighbors pet dog.
Anyhows, its been a pretty dull life. Would you believe that nothing wicked or malicious has happened to me for like the past 12 hours? That's a record. I now live a boring life like the rest of the world. Speaking of the rest of the world, i have learned some very interesting facts to share and shall act as some sort of a consolation for wasting fifteen minutes of your life for stumbling on this blog.
Did you know if everyone in the world was lined up shoulder to shoulder, they would all fit into Malaysia?
All 6.684 billion of them.
The planet Pluto is not a planet.
The most important thing to have when shipwrecked is a mirror and not a box of chocolates.
When all things fail to wake you up, try listening to an off pitched version of someone singing "Come, now is the time to worship" for a FULL HOUR. I personally guarantee that you will be fully awakened with an overwhelming desire to chop of your ears, dip it in garlic sauce, feed them to stray mongrels and hope that you never have the gift of hearing again.
Shucks, i ran out of facts. That's about all the knowledge i posses.
Moving on. Have you ever noticed how some questions prove to be a complete and utter waste of time?
For instance, try going up to someone anonymous and ask "How are you?" More often than not, you are likely to be hit in the face with the same old mundane routine of "I'm fine."
Are they really fine?
They could be drowning in debts or desperate for some form of companionship. Heck, you could place them in a pile of cow dung and yet they will just whip up a smile and say "I'm fine."
Sometimes its worse!! Some people even have the audacity to shoot back such otiosity by responding with
"I'm fine. And you?"
When such atrocity occurs, you find yourself at a lost for words. You start to see that you have been cornered. Any attempt to retaliate with another question would be futile. You stand your ground and hesitate on your final and only option available. You muster up some dignity and with a pretentious smile you say:
"I'm fine. Thank you"
This usually follows with a brief moment of silence and awkwardness until someone takes their leave and all things return to a state of normality.
A similar question which displays the same effect would be "Are you okay?" This is usually followed by "I'm okay."
Along the hallways of university, malls and anywhere lar, familiar faces would offer greetings with the same damn question.
"How are you?"
I usually give the same damn response.
"I'm fine."
This may occur even though i am feeling the exact opposite of 'fine'.
I really do appreciate the gesture though. Nothing is sweeter than showing the world that you care for someone else.
However,
There was a particular case where i was met with a greeting unlike no other.
It was so different, so contrastive, so distinguished. It was unique to say the very least.
I assure you that such forms of greetings has never been heard or read about in the past ten decades.
It was simply this.
"Are you retarded?"
I stood dead in my tracks. Dazed and obviously stupefied by such a question, i slapped myself in the face and regained consciousness. I then proceeded to scramble mentally for a response.
Hundreds of things were running simultaneously in my mind.
Do i say yes? Do i say no? Or how about I'm just partially spastic. Do i want fries with my McChicken later?
Confused and at a lost for words i could only gaze into my acquaintance's expectant face hoping to find clues and subtle hints to such a mind boggling question.
It was pointless. I'm left at a dead end. My only option was to strip naked, whip myself on the back and wail out loud to gain sympathy from this ruthless world.
Then it hit me!!
I found out the answer to his question. The answer was there all along. It was haunting my down from all angles and yet i failed to see it.
I looked him in the eye with beaded drops of sweat trickling down my spine. Paying no regard to my surrounding, i evinced a fragile smile.
Careful not to lose focus, i uttered with sheer confidence:
"Yes, and you?"
We then advanced to an eatery to gorge ourselves with food.
I just love these happy endings.
PS : Shaun, I'm serious when i say i am revolted by the sight of green now. Please do me and the other four readers a favor by changing the layout or something. Thanks. And, How are you by the way?
Post a Comment